So many of you have written to ask how things are going with my son Jake, and I wanted to actually sit down and answer you. This episode is part personal update, but like everything I share, it’s really for you. My hope is that my family’s story shines a light on something you might be walking through too, whether that’s with your own health, your child’s, or someone you love.
A few years ago, on top of knowing Jake is on the spectrum, we discovered he has something called PANS/PANDAS. It’s far more common than most people realize, and it shows up in ways almost no one connects to the immune system. This is the honest middle of our story, not the terrifying beginning, and not some perfect resolution, and I want to talk about what it means to stand in that middle with hope instead of fear.
What PANS/PANDAS Actually is
PANDAS stands for Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Disorder Associated with Streptococcal infections. PANS is the broader term, Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome, which includes triggers beyond strep. In both, the immune system doesn’t respond to an infection the way it’s supposed to. Instead of simply clearing it, the immune reaction ends up inflaming the brain, specifically the basal ganglia, the region involved in movement, mood, and behavior.
That inflammation can show up seemingly out of nowhere as anxiety, OCD, sudden tantrums and oppositional behavior, tics, sleep problems, frequent urination, and bedwetting. And here’s a piece that matters so much for this community: children of mothers with autoimmunity, like Hashimoto’s, appear to be more prone to it. The immune dysregulation can run in families.
How It Started: The Strep Connection We Almost Missed
Our story began with my husband Scott coming home from work sick one July, sore throat, fever, exhausted. He went to urgent care, got antibiotics, felt better, and we didn’t think twice. But over that July and August, Jake’s behavior started to change. More tantrums, more OCD-type behaviors, more trouble sleeping.
Because Jake is on the spectrum, we assumed we were seeing a phase, or nerves about starting kindergarten. There was a day at an amusement park that was completely unlike him, so oppositional and dysregulated that Scott had to physically carry him off a ride while he kicked and screamed. That wasn’t my sweet, affectionate little boy. Then came the shirt-chewing at school, and using the bathroom ten, twelve, fifteen times a day. We kept explaining each thing away as anxiety.
The Antibiotics That Brought My Son Back
That February, Scott came home sick again. This time I made sure they ran an actual throat culture, not just a rapid test. It came back positive for strep, and because strep is so contagious, they suggested testing the whole family. Every single one of us was positive, including Jake, who had no sore throat, no fever, no red throat, nothing. The doctor almost didn’t test him.
Strep is one infection where antibiotics genuinely are necessary, it can affect the heart, so we all started treatment. And two days after Jake began amoxicillin, every strange symptom vanished. He slept. He stopped the constant bathroom trips. The tantrums and OCD behaviors stopped. After roughly six months, I had my little boy back almost overnight. That was the moment I knew, without a doubt, this was PANDAS.
When PANDAS Becomes PANS: Why the Triggers Multiply
Things were good for a few months, and then his behavior ramped back up, even though he wasn’t visibly sick. Positive for strep again. It turned out Scott wasn’t catching strep at work at all, he was catching it from Jake, who carried it with essentially no symptoms.
This is when we started working with Dr. Nancy O’Hara, one of the country’s leading PANS/PANDAS experts (you can hear her on episode 200). She helped me understand something important: once strep is under better control, other infections tend to become the triggers. That’s the shift from PANDAS to PANS. Any infection, a cold, the flu, an ear infection, COVID, can set off the same immune overreaction and the same brain inflammation. So I started keeping rapid strep tests at home and testing him whenever he got sick, even without a sore throat.
The Lyme and Bartonella Piece Most People Miss
Dr. O’Hara explained that Lyme, and specifically the co-infection Bartonella, can be a major PANDAS trigger. It’s actually how she became an expert in this, her own son’s symptoms never fully resolved until she addressed the Lyme piece she’d initially missed. So she tests all her PANDAS kids.
We ran comprehensive Lyme and co-infection testing. Jake’s results weren’t clearly positive, but they weren’t negative either, they landed in that equivocal middle. Dr. O’Hara’s view is that when it isn’t negative, you treat it. She uses herbal protocols rather than antibiotics for this, and she was upfront that herbal treatment for Lyme can take years, not weeks.
Managing Flares: Antivirals, Advil, and the Full Moon
Over that year Jake got strep six times. We rotated antibiotics to avoid resistance, used plenty of probiotics, and for a stretch even used a low-dose prophylactic approach under Dr. O’Hara’s guidance, the reasoning being that a small preventive amount can spare you the much larger course you’d need once an infection takes hold. We also decided, after a lot of research, not to remove his tonsils, and I’m grateful we didn’t.
A few things became part of our flare toolkit. At the first sign of any illness, in Jake or anyone in the house, we’d start antiviral support like high-dose vitamin A and D, aqualaurin, lysine, zinc, and vitamin C. Because the immune system’s infection-fighting is what drives the flare, we also learned that a few days of an anti-inflammatory like Advil could calm the brain inflammation while his body did its work, something a lot of families don’t realize is an option. And then there was the full moon. Like clockwork, his symptoms worsened around it. Dr. O’Hara explained that parasites are more active during the full moon, so we ran a short anti-parasitic protocol in that window, three days before, the day of, and three days after. It sounds a little out there, and it genuinely helped.
Doubling the Herbs and Four Flatline Weeks
We kept seeing a pattern, a good week or two, then a harder week. When we retested, his Bartonella and Lyme antibodies actually looked a bit worse than two years earlier. Dr. O’Hara reassured me that this isn’t unusual with herbal treatment, and that Jake had also grown a lot, he’s almost ten, nearly a hundred pounds, and nearly my height, so he simply needed more.
We doubled his herbs, and the change was remarkable. For the first time, his school’s weekly behavior graph, the one that tracks disruptions and attention, flatlined for four weeks straight. No spikes. I felt like I had my real little boy back, not in glimpses this time, but in a genuine stretch.
Why There Isn’t Always a Clean Finish Line
Here’s the honest part. Even after all of this progress, we’re not “done.” What I’ve learned is that with something like this, there often isn’t a tidy finish line. It’s something you manage. It ebbs and flows, with better seasons and harder ones, and a lot of life bends around it while you keep getting closer to the root.
And if you have Hashimoto’s, thyroid issues, or any chronic condition, I think you know exactly what I mean. Hashimoto’s isn’t one-and-done either. It moves with your stress, your sleep, your hormones, the season of life you’re in. Some stretches feel steady and clear, and some stretches your body asks more of you. So many of us carry this quiet frustration that we haven’t “arrived,” that if we were just doing more, we’d be finished. But that’s not how these conditions work, and I actually find that freeing. Supporting your body is the work, and it deserves to be done with real kindness toward yourself.
Standing in the Middle: Looking Forward Instead of Back
This is why I called the episode coming from the messy middle. It’s not the frightening, lost beginning, and it’s not a perfect ending. It’s the in-between, where we’re still navigating and adjusting and, most of all, still showing up.
If you’re in your own messy middle right now, maybe in a flare, waiting on labs, months into a protocol and wondering why things aren’t fully better yet, here’s what I’ve come to believe. When you’re in the middle of something hard, it’s so easy to pour all your energy into looking backward, replaying what went wrong, wishing you’d caught it sooner, grieving the version of your body or your life you thought you’d have by now. But the middle isn’t a place to look back from. It’s a place to look ahead from. What’s possible is available to you from right here, in the present, one foot in front of the other. That’s where hope actually lives, and it’s always right now.
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
00:00
Hello there. I am so happy you’re here and tuning in today. Today’s episode is partly a personal update because so many of you have been asking me how things are going and I want to actually answer you. And of course, like every episode I do, it’s never really about me, but it’s really what is here for you. And my personal experience that I share is something that can shine a light on what could be going on. And my hope is that it is something that meets you.
00:30
right where you are today. I have shared a few times on the show, and I speak about this publicly, that my son Jake is on a spectrum, and we also figured out a few years ago that he has something called PANS Pandas. And in case you’re not familiar, what PANS stands for is Pediatric Acute Neuropsychiatric Disorder Affected by Strep, and PANS is just Pediatric Acute Neuropsychiatric Disorder.
00:58
And essentially what this means is that the immune system doesn’t react the way that it’s supposed to to strap into other triggers. And it can show up as anxiety, as OCD, as tantrums, as sleep issues, as bedwetting, as all sorts of weird behavioral types of issues. And they tend to come out of nowhere, sort of out of the blue. And interesting enough, kids of moms who have autoimmunity like Hashimoto’s, for example, though really could be any autoimmunity,
01:28
Our kids are more prone to this. When I first told you about it, which was about two years ago, we were deep in it. And a lot of you wrote me and you shared your own experiences and you had a lot of questions and many wondered if some of the things that you’re seeing with your own children or grandchildren can be related to this as well. And I actually get messages still about it almost every single day. And I am so glad that people are asking and wanting to know more because Pans
01:57
is so much more common that most people think about or realize. I remember when I learned about it in school a long time ago, it was taught to us as this very rare thing. And when things were happening with Jake, the thought had crossed my mind that maybe this could be that. And I remember thinking, oh no, it can’t be that. I mean, this happens to people over there. It’s just a rare thing. It can’t happen in my family. Or to me, I even had this thought like…
02:25
You know who I am? Like it can’t be happening to me. Like I know what’s happening and what I’m doing and we’re doing all of the things. But it was. And interestingly, how it all started and it took us about six months to figure it out. But my husband Scott came home from work one day feeling really sick, his throat hurt. He was tired. He had a fever. And I remember he went to a local urgent care and I didn’t think much about it. I didn’t ask much about it.
02:51
My daughter was one at the time. And so I had Jake who was five, I had Juliet who was one. I was working and I was just busy with all the things. And so I didn’t question it. And he told me they gave him antibiotics. And normally I would ask why or try to figure it out, but he took the antibiotics. He felt better and we never really thought much about it. And this was in July. And what was interesting is that later that July and August, we started to see a lot of behavioral things in Jake.
03:20
Now being that he’s on the spectrum, there was always some things where he didn’t always listen and he always wanted to do his thing and he had some repetitive behaviors where he loved to just look at fans spin and he likes to turn switches on and off and things like that. But it was more behavioral things and more OCD things and he just had more tantrums and more trouble sleeping and there was just a lot of stuff happening. And we thought, okay, well, he’s going through a change. And at this point he was going into kindergarten. So.
03:48
He could be anxious and nervous about starting a new school and all of the things that you normally think are the case. And we went to an amusement park one day in August. And I remember it was next level where we went on a roller coaster. It was a small roller coaster for kids and he wasn’t tall enough to ride it himself. So they told him, mommy has to sit with you. And he was very independent and he said, no, I want to go myself. And so.
04:18
the person at the ride explained to him, you know, mommy has to come. And I said, Hey, Jake, just move over. I’ll sit with you. It’s no big deal. And he was like, no, you can’t sit here. And he literally put his hand on the seat and would not let me sit. And it was the oddest thing because we’ve never experienced anything like that. He’s like a sweet little boy and he was so oppositional. And then the operator of the ride kindly asked us to leave because he couldn’t ride himself. And so I said, okay, Jake, if you don’t want me to ride with you, that’s totally okay.
04:47
let’s just get up and leave the ride. And again, he was like, nope, not leaving. To the point where Scott, who was waiting at the bottom of the staircase had to come up and physically remove Jake from the ride because he just would not listen. And it was just the oddest thing. was like there was a wall and he was like, nope, you’re not coming in the ride and I’m not getting off. And so then we carried him off of the ride to the car, which was about a few blocks on the boardwalk.
05:16
And he was kicking and screaming, even biting. Now, my little guy does not do this. It was like he was in this state. I can’t even explain it. It was actually extremely scary and we didn’t know what to do, but we just kept carrying him off because we needed to get him home. And then he calmed down and things were better. But then we’ve had a few other incidents of these types of tantrums that was very not normal for him. And then there was just.
05:43
other things that started happening. He started kindergarten and the teacher told me that he’s been chewing on his shirt. And we thought, okay, well, maybe that’s anxiety because it’s a new school, new kids, but again, not something he’s ever done before in preschool. And he was also constantly going to the bathroom. And they said, you know, does he urinate a lot? And, I told him, I don’t know, like, I don’t pay attention. He goes when he goes. And, you know, they said he’s been going like 10, 12, 15 times a day, which again, we thought, well,
06:12
Maybe he’s just anxious. It’s a new school. And then just all of these weird things continued and there was weird OCD things and a lot of these oppositional behavior things that started happening to the point where it was really hard to manage and we didn’t know what was going on. And we looked at ABA therapy and we looked at a lot of behavioral things thinking, okay, like all of a sudden his behavior is just off, but none of it was helping. What was interesting was fast forward to
06:42
February, Scott came home from work sick again. And I thought, what is going on? Because no one at home was sick, neither July nor now. Like, what are you doing at work and what are you picking up? And so I sent him to urgent care and he went and the doctor said his throat was very red. And they said to start an antibiotics and then they were going to run a culture and they’ll call us with the results. And at this point I was on top of it and I specifically said, don’t let them do anything with rapid. I mean, do the rapid of course, but
07:11
also run an actual culture so we know what’s going on. And he started the antibiotics and he was feeling better. And then a few days later, the doctor’s office called and said, oh, it’s positive for Strep. And they said, because Strep is very prevalent, you should test the whole family just in case. Now I was feeling fine. Jake was feeling fine. Juliet was feeling totally fine as well. We all went to urgent care. We all got tested. Guess what? Everyone had Strep.
07:38
Now I was already starting to feel a little tired, but not sick and Juliet seemed fine. And Jake literally had nothing. His throat was not red. The doctor almost said, I’ll test you because your husband has it and I’ll test the whole family. But when they looked at Jake’s throat, they said, he can’t have strep. And again, A, he’s not sick. B, he doesn’t have a fever. C, he doesn’t have a headache or any other symptoms. And his throat is not even the tiniest bit red. He was a little congested, but it seemed like it was totally not related. And yet when the test came back, everyone had it. So.
08:08
When it comes to strep, antibiotics are necessary. you know, me as someone who does a lot of things naturally, when possible, I try to avoid antibiotics. However, when it comes to strep, can affect your heart. It can have a lot of different things. And so everyone went on antibiotics and Scott was already on them. And we just did the traditional amoxicillin, which is typically used for strep. Well, can I tell you two days after starting antibiotics,
08:38
All of Jake’s weird symptoms completely dissipated. He started sleeping. He stopped peeing 20 times a day. He stopped having these weird OCD things. He stopped yelling. And this was going on for about six months now from July until February. And I almost got so used to him being oppositional and yelling and this, all of this stuff happening that in two days when all that stopped, I mean, of course it was amazing because I’m like, oh no, my little boy’s back. That’s amazing. But it was also.
09:08
to me because I got so used to just chaos and commotion. It was really fascinating and exciting and scary at the same time because now I knew this is a hundred percent pandas whereas before I thought I could be but it almost just was in denial and couldn’t believe that that could actually be happening to us knowing that it’s sort of this big thing but now I knew a hundred percent that that’s what it was and we were very excited that the antibiotics helped.
09:35
And after we finished the round of antibiotics, things were pretty good for a few months until all of a sudden I started to see his behavior ramp up again. Now again, he was not sick. He was a little congested, but nothing that would resemble Strep. But again, we started with the tantrums and the oppositional behavior and the weird tics and just odd things. And so I took him to urgent care, we tested him and again, positive for Strep.
10:03
Interestingly, both he and Scott were positive again. And Scott at that time started getting symptoms because at first I couldn’t understand where Scott is getting this and why he’s picking up strep at work, what is going on. But it wasn’t that he was picking up strep at work. He was picking it up from Jake, except Jake never had any symptoms. So this time we treated it again and we had started seeing Dr. O’Hara and I had her on the show before. You can take a look at that episode that was episode 200 where we talked a lot about pans and
10:33
just neurodivergence in kids in general. was very interesting episode. And so she was guiding us because she’s one of the country’s Pans Pandas experts. And she suggested not using amoxicillin anymore because amoxicillin is something where the body can get used to it and you don’t want to use it all the time. So we used a different antibiotic. And interestingly, I didn’t see that same quick shift like we did the first time because that first time we took amoxicillin two days and it was like,
11:01
boom, he was back to his normal self and everything completely subsided. This time it started to get a little better, but it was more gradual. And even after the full course of the seven days, it really wasn’t back to a hundred percent. And this is where Nancy explained to us that looking at some of these other triggers, cause there’s so many different things that it has to do with, and it’s not just strep. And at that point we did some testing with him and
11:31
One of the things that she mentioned to us is that Lyme can be a really big pandas trigger. And Nancy herself had that experience with her son. That’s how she became a pandas expert because her son, who’s 25 now, had it when he was younger. And she said she treated the strep and she did all the other things, but she missed Lyme, specifically Bartonella, which is a co-infection. And she said that that’s why her son’s
11:58
Pandas symptoms never completely resolved. And so she does Lyme testing for all of her Pandas kids. So we did that. We used Hygenics. And if you’re not familiar with Hygenics, it’s a very comprehensive test for Lyme and co-infections. It’s just very, very expensive. It’s over a thousand dollars. And so I wasn’t completely thrilled about doing it, but she really explained to us how important it is to look at that. And what we found when the test came back is that while the Lyme was not positive, it was also not negative.
12:28
It was in that equivocal category, which to me means, there’s something there, but is it really a big deal? And Dr. O’Hara explained to us that it actually is because if it’s not negative, then it is positive. And so she uses herbs for kids. She doesn’t use antibiotics for these things. So we started on herbs and we started to look at some of these other triggers. And it was interesting because his body…
12:52
really didn’t like that very much. He started having a lot of different symptoms. He was stuttering, which we later found out was a little bit of a detox reaction. And in those next six months, he had strep four other times. So we had strep a total of six times in that one year. And Nancy coached us to use different antibiotics so that
13:16
He doesn’t become resistant, of course, but did a lot of probiotics. And it was scary just knowing that my child is on so many antibiotics because I was very proud to say that he’s never taken an antibiotic until then. So he didn’t have a single antibiotic until he was five years old, but we had no choice and we had to do it. We even used an antibiotic prophylactically twice a week for a little while because Dr. Herr explained to us that in her mind it’s better.
13:43
to do a small amount prophylactically to not get it versus doing a large amount of antibiotic, you know, a whole course when you do get it. And because she’s more of an integrative doctor, I trusted that even though just the thought of antibiotics, I’m sure you can imagine, really was not something that I was excited about. And she did tell us that as his immune system gets better and as we kind of progress through all of the things, he’ll grow out of it. But there was talk about having his tonsils out, which are
14:12
moderately enlarged and the local ENT was very much for that, especially because he kept getting strep. But through my research and through speaking with Dr. Herr and some other providers, we really decided that that wasn’t the best thing because even if your tonsils are out, you can still get infections. They just may be other infections and it can really affect the immune system. And I’m so glad I listened to that and didn’t do it because after that year, we kind of grew out of the strep season and
14:42
his body was able to deal with that better. But then that is when we started looking at the lime and doing the herbs for that. And what I also noticed, which makes so much sense, but not something that I ever really realized, is that pandas, which is specifically your reaction to strep, is going to turn to pans almost always. And so once strep is not an issue or that we’re not getting it as often,
15:12
other infections are going to be triggers because essentially what happens is that when this immune system that’s confused sees an infection, be it strep or anything else, it starts to fight the infection. And then when the antibodies are elevated, those elevated antibodies of the body actually fighting the infection is what’s going to inflame the brain, specifically the basal ganglia part of the brain.
15:41
which is what creates the ticks and the OCD and just all of the neurological issues. And so, oh my gosh, my boy’s brain was just inflamed with all the things. And what we noticed was that anytime he got a cold or the flu or COVID, and we don’t necessarily test each sickness to see what it is, but whatever the sickness was, he would get inflamed and start having symptoms. And I smartened up, I got the rapid strep test kits at home.
16:10
And so anytime he would be sick, even if he didn’t have a sore throat, I would test him just to make sure. But he kept coming back negative and it was these other infections, ear infection, you you name it. And so we started doing antiviral protocols the minute that he got sick. And actually we started doing those the minute anyone else was sick, because at that point my daughter started preschool. So she was coming home with all sorts of things.
16:34
And so we were doing high dose vitamin A, we were doing low-matium, we were doing lysine and extra zinc and vitamin C, all of the things that are naturally antiviral, high dose vitamin D as well during that time, which was helpful. We also learned that when the body’s fighting an infection and us giving him all of the herbs and the supplements can help fighting the infection, but it still would create a pan’s flare because of the infection fighting that’s happening with the immune system.
17:03
And so we started doing Advil now again, as someone who does things in a natural way, taking Advil is not something I like to do. I like to give to my children, but Advil does have this anti-inflammatory effect. And what we found is that if we would give him Advil and for his age, it was, know, one or two capsules twice a day. So it has to be a higher amount of Advil. But if we do that for three to six days, it would calm that inflammation just to help him cope.
17:32
while the infection is going on and the body is fighting it. And that was something that was very helpful for us. And a lot of people don’t realize that you could do that. And again, I don’t love the idea of Advil, but I also don’t love the idea that his brain is inflamed because of all of this immune reactivation that’s happening. The other thing that happened was we noticed that around the full moon,
17:56
his symptoms were worse, whether he was sick with an infection or not. And it was almost like clockwork and I didn’t make the connection at first, but then I looked at the calendar and I just noticed because anytime he would flare and he would have these behavioral issues and oppositional things and ticks and other things like that, and he wasn’t sick, it just naturally made me think, okay, well, what else is happening? And I realized it was the full moon. And so Dr. O’Hara explained that
18:26
during a full moon, parasites are more active. And whether you want to believe it or not, we all have parasites. And sometimes even when we do stool tests, you know, we’ll see things show up on a stool test, but parasites tend to hide and they’re not the easiest to catch. And so even if a stool test comes back clear, there still can be parasites. And so she gave us an anti-parasitic protocol, not to do all the time, but to do seven days around the full moon.
18:53
So we started using it three days before the full moon, the day of the full moon, and three days after, know this sounds kind of woo, but I’m telling you, it definitely helped. And doing that, the full moon, behavioral changes, and all of the flares that would happen were really lessened. So that was really, really good for us to see and to experiment and for me to talk about because I think it could be helpful for so many people. And we noticed even with that, again, he was making good strides and things were overall better.
19:22
but there was still some flares and there were still things happening. And I found that we would have like one or two really good weeks and then a week that’s kind of like, and then another one or two good weeks and then a week that wasn’t as good. And we saw that in school as well in the reports that we get from school about how he was doing and how he was behaving and what was happening. It would be just like some days better, some days worse. And so we had retested for Bartonella and Lyme. And what we saw is that the antibodies for it were
19:50
actually not improved. In fact, they were a little bit worse than the original test we did two years ago. And Dr. Herr explained that that’s not uncommon, especially when you’re treating it herbally because it takes longer. And she had told me before that we would likely be on the herbs for three to five years, but I think in my head, I just don’t think of things as that long-term. And this just showed we needed more. And also he grew a lot in this time. He’s almost 10 and he’s a hundred pounds. It’s crazy. He’s almost as tall as me. He eats really well. So that helps.
20:20
So she actually doubled the amount of herbs we were taking because the lime wasn’t cleared. It actually looked worse. Part of that is because we’re doing stuff to clear it, but also because he grew, he needed a higher amount of herbs. And once we doubled the herbs, we saw such a huge decline in symptoms. And literally, I just felt like my little boy is back because we’ve seen glimpses of it, right? Where for a few days it was better and he was just easier to talk to and to…
20:49
just do normal things with, and then they would just be more flares and more behavioral things. And this time with doubling the herbs, it’s like, saw him, he was back. And the cool thing is that we then had a stretch of four weeks of him just being the real him. And it was amazing. Now it’s still kind of flare up a little bit after that with another infection we had, and that was a stomach bug and there was other things.
21:19
But with higher amounts of herbs to deal with those triggers, overall things definitely have been better. And it’s interesting because the school does this graph where they have like, if there’s any disruptive behavior and how well he pays attention and how he does in his classes. And they usually send us the graph every week. And this was the first time where four weeks in a row, that graph was completely flatlined. There was no spikes for disruptive behavior and things like that.
21:48
And it’s interesting too, because, I mean, he goes to such a good school and they do such a good job and they have so much support for him and I’m still thankful. But the interesting thing is that I think that most people still don’t understand pants pandas and how it works. Because when the school saw that graph, you know, and they said, Oh, what are you doing? And I told him, and I explained to them, you know, the herbs and some of the stuff. And they kept saying, you know, he’s maturing, he’s getting older, things are getting better. And I’m like, yeah. And also his brain is not inflamed, you know, and they,
22:18
don’t really get that part. kept saying, yeah, but look, now we saw that there was like a few weeks in a row that he could do all the stuff that means he’s capable, that means he can. And I’m like, yeah, I know. It’s because his brain is not inflamed. I think they just think that he’s growing and maturing and certainly that’s part of it. But I think it’s so hard for people to understand that when we have this, it’s literally like something or someone hijacks your brain. And then there’s this veil and you just can’t see clearly. So it’s like, he’s in there.
22:48
but there’s this other version of him that comes out, which is scary and sad and all of the things. There’s so many feelings that come up, but I think it’s just knowing and understanding that and seeing how things could get better in that way. We just have to keep working at and keep working on the triggers and all of the things that affect it. We’ve come a really long way and it has been a lot of ups and downs. And I think one of the hardest things for me is that I know my little boy, like he is
23:18
the sweetest, most kindest love bug. Like all he wants to do is just like hug and connect and be close to you. And like a lot of times he’ll be like, mommy, I just want you to hug me. Just lay with me or stay with me. Like he’s so like, he like exudes love. Like he’s just so, so sweet. And like he’s always been that way. And he literally just like wants to be close to you and cuddle and like get under blankets. It’s so sweet.
23:46
And then he would just have these episodes in these flares where he’s just angry and defiant and the tantrums and it’s just so not him. And then when we bring him down and get that inflammation down, it’s like he comes back and I’m like, yes, he’s back. And sometimes when we’re in flares a lot, I forget who he really is. And then he’s back and I’m like, oh my gosh, that’s him. That’s my little boy. And we see these glimpses and I’m definitely so happy to say that there’s just
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more and more of these glimpses and they’re longer and longer. But I’m gonna be honest with you, even though we’ve come this long way, we’re not done. And what I’ve learned slowly over this time is that with something like this, there isn’t always this clean finish line, right? It’s something that we manage and it ebbs and it flows and there’s good seasons and there’s harder seasons. And a lot of our life honestly bends around it. But with…
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all of the different triggers, right? We’re getting more and more and more to the root. And for all of us with Hashimoto’s and thyroid issues and really any type of auto-immunity or chronic condition, I think you know exactly what I mean when I talk about that, right? Because Hashimoto’s is really kind of the same, right? It’s not this one and done and it’s not, okay, just take this or fix that. And then you never have to think about it again because
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it’s something that you do support and it moves with your stress, right? And what’s happening with your sleep and definitely what’s happening with your hormones and just the seasons of life. And so some months you’re going to feel like yourself and some months your body reminds you that it needs more from you in lots of different ways. And I think so many of us have this frustration that we haven’t sort of quote unquote arrived yet. And that if, you know, maybe we were doing
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more or there’s something that we’re missing, right? That we’d be finished, but that’s not how these things work. And obviously I’m not saying this to discourage you in any way because my whole hope here is to inspire, but I say it because I think it’s actually really freeing to think that way, right? That supporting is the work and doing that with a lot of kindness towards yourself and understanding that it waxes and wanes and that there will be seasons where
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you may need to do more, especially for specific symptoms. And there may be seasons where you can actually sit back more. And some of these seasons are gonna be longer. And that’s our goal is to have these longer seasons of sitting back and then to have the support feel very part of our day and not like this extra thing that we’re doing. And that’s why I call this episode coming from the messy middle because that is where we are right now with Jake. And…
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You know, it’s not that very beginning part where you’re just so super scared and completely lost and not knowing what’s going on. And it is certainly not some kind of a perfect finish line either. It’s somewhere in the middle where we’re still navigating and figuring it out and adjusting. And most importantly, we’re showing up. And so if you’re in your own messy middle right now, I really, really want you to hear me, right? You might be in a flare. You might be waiting on labs. You might be six months into something, some kind of.
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protocol and wondering why maybe things aren’t 100 % better yet. And maybe you’re exhausted and maybe you feel something, but don’t even know exactly how to explain what it means, right? Especially to the people around you. And so I want to offer you a different way to stand in that middle because here’s what I learned. When you’re in the middle of something hard, it’s so easy to spend all of your energy looking backward, right? Because we’re replaying what went wrong and
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we naturally wish, if only I caught it sooner, right? Or we are kind of in a way grieving a version of our body, right? Or a version of our child or a version of our life that we thought we would have by now. But the middle isn’t a place to look back from, right? The middle is a place to look ahead from. And when I stopped looking at everything through the lens of what already happened and started looking at what’s actually possible from right here,
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That was a really big difference because what’s possible is available to us 100 % of the time from a present place, not from a past place, as long as we’re actually here for it, right? That’s where possibility lives. And it’s always been now right in this present moment. And so I often say one foot in front of the other. And of course, wherever you are, we have a lot of resources and support.
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so we can meet you where you are. If you’re not taking thyroid love yet and you want a way to simplify your thyroid support so that you don’t have to take seven different supplements and spend way too much money on them, you get all of the things that you need for both your thyroid and your immune system in one. And that’s really the easiest place to start because I’ve already done the hard work for you. I figured out which nutrients your thyroid needs, the amounts that are needed and also the
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forms of those nutrients because that is really important. It’s all done for you so you don’t have to guess and think about it because that takes a lot of brain power and it takes a lot of energy. And so you could see all of that at thiraleve.com. We also have the subscribe and save option, which is great because you save an extra 15%. And then you can also, because you’re a listener of this podcast, if you use the code podcast at checkout, you get an extra 10 % on top of that, which you can apply to the subscription.
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which is 15 % off. So you get a total of 25 % off your first bottle. Right now, Thyrolove is only available in the U.S. However, if you are in Canada or if you’re in Europe or anywhere overseas and you do want to get it, just message me on Instagram. I’m at inatapolar. We have done a lot of manual orders to Europe, to Canada, to South Africa. Usually we recommend ordering
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couple of bottles so you save on shipping. We use USPS or UPS and we can actually get the shipping to be really reasonable. So just message me on Instagram and let me know and I can connect you with my shipping manager and if you’re outside the US and wanted, we can get that to you. And also if you have a specific symptom and you want a low cost solution to that, whether that’s weight loss or energy,
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We also have two courses, they’re super low cost, but really, really comprehensive. have that thousands of people go through them. There’s so much value there for a really, really low cost. And you can see more about those on enatoppler.com or you can DM me the word plan. If you want to know more about the weight loss course or DM me the word energy on Instagram at enatoppler. If you want to get rid of your exhaustion and I’ll send you all of the info there. And then.
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If you’re someone who wants one-on-one support, because for some people they really want that hand holding, then I want to make sure you know about our thyroid deep dive. This is where we get you a full thyroid panel. So we get you the labs and then we sit down with you one-on-one and go through those with you. identify your thyroid type, we analyze everything, and then we give you all of the next steps. This is something that has been so helpful for so many people. And if you already have full labs,
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then you can do the consultation without the lab. So we have both of those options. If you want to know more about that, DM me the word labs on Instagram at in a toppler and I’ll send you all of the details for that as well. So wherever you are and whatever you’re dealing with, the main thing that I want to leave you with is that the answers really are out there. Sometimes they don’t come in the exact way that you think they will, but they are out there and there is hope.
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And if you know someone who is a child that may exhibit certain symptoms that sound like pants pandas, or if you know someone that actually has pants pandas and you want to give them more information, please share this episode with them and anyone else who is in their own messy middle with whatever they’re dealing with. Please share this episode with them and be sure that you’re subscribed to the show so that you never miss a new episode. And if you enjoyed this episode, I would so, so appreciate it if you can please
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write a review on Apple Podcasts. It really, really helps the podcast to come up in the ranks so more people can discover it and they can see all of the different things that they can do. And I know I keep saying it, but really the answers really are out there. Thank you so much for listening. I really don’t take it for granted that you are here. I appreciate you listening and coming back each week. And I’m so excited to continue to connect with you and I will see you next time.
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on thyroid mystery solved, Hashimoto’s, and hypothyroidism revealed.
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All information, content, and material on this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and or medical treatment of a qualified physician or healthcare provider
